← Autodidact Archive · Original Dissent · Gabrielle
Thread ID: 19239 | Posts: 4 | Started: 2005-07-21
2005-07-21 11:49 | User Profile
Fatal Things to Say to Your Pregnant Wife
"Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl."
"I bet you're about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."
"Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."
"Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!"
"I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"
"Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"
"Whoa, you're awfully puffy looking today."
"I finished the Oreo's."
"Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40 pounds."
"Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"
"Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."
2005-07-21 15:04 | User Profile
Fatal how? Said pregnant wife will whine herself to death upon hearing these witticisms due to a sense of humor deficit? (Yes, they are mildly callous)
I don't kow about you, but my wife kept her sense of humor pretty well during here two pregnancies.
We need more women in this world, and fewer drama queens.
[QUOTE=Gabrielle]Fatal Things to Say to Your Pregnant Wife
"Well, couldn't they induce labor? The 25th is the Super Bowl."
"I bet you're about five pounds away from a surprise visit from that Richard Simmons fella."
"Fred at the office passed a stone the size of a pea. Boy, that's gotta hurt."
"Whoa! For a minute there, I thought I woke up next to Willard Scott!"
"I'm jealous! Why can't men experience the joy of childbirth?"
"Are your ankles supposed to look like that?"
"Whoa, you're awfully puffy looking today."
"I finished the Oreo's."
"Not to imply anything, but I don't think the kid weighs 40 pounds."
"Man! That rose tattoo on your hip is the size of Madagascar!"
"Retaining water? Yeah, like the Hoover Dam retains water."[/QUOTE]
2005-07-21 16:53 | User Profile
Take a joke...
2005-07-21 17:06 | User Profile
That's why I never wanted any rug-brats.