← Autodidact Archive · Original Dissent · Gabrielle
Thread ID: 19136 | Posts: 8 | Started: 2005-07-13
2005-07-13 18:08 | User Profile
1/"Well, when I reached down to pick up my crack pipe, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged under the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control."
2/"If you tried some of the stuff, I just had, you wouldn't be so damn uptight."
3/"Whoops, that's the fake one...here ya go...this is the one."
4/I can't reach my license, ulless you hold my beer."
5/"So, what does a good bribe go for around here?"
6/"Gee officer, your eyes look glazed, have you been eating donuts?"
7/"I thought you had to be, in relatively good physical shape, to be a police officer?"
8/"Aren't you the guy, from the Village People?"
9/"Didn't I see you, get your butt kicked on "Cops?"
10/"Sorry officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in."
2005-07-13 20:10 | User Profile
LMWAO. And every single one of those are guaranteed to get you in more trouble. Of course, if you get pulled over and you are drunk you are pretty much screwed anyway, so if you are a happy drunk, no harm in keeping that mindset for a few more minutes.lol
I always get a kick out of the people who will pretend they are not drunk even though they cannot stand up without falling over or speak without slurring. but then again, how many people when asked if they have been drinking will say, "yes, and I am feeling real good tonight, officer"
[QUOTE] So, what does a good bribe go for around here?" [/QUOTE]Now this one may work, but I would certainly never try it.:lol:
2005-07-13 20:29 | User Profile
I'm so scared of getting pulled over by America's Goon Squad, aka The Police, that when I go out to a restaurant or bar I can't even get a buzz anymore. And if I can't relax and get a nice buzz on, it ain't worth going out at all.
2005-07-13 21:37 | User Profile
I never encountered any of the quotes cited above. I can say however, that I always knew the answer to one question even before it was asked. If I asked the driver whether or not he/she had been drinking, the answer invariably was: "I'll tell ya the truth offisher, I had two beers". Ask any cop, he'll tell you the same thing. Amazing how loaded some people can get on two beers!
2005-07-14 14:26 | User Profile
Amazing how loaded some people can get on two beers!
Not so surprising if they were both "40 Oh-Zees" of malt liquor.
2005-07-14 15:35 | User Profile
[QUOTE=OPERA96]I never encountered any of the quotes cited above. I can say however, that I always knew the answer to one question even before it was asked. If I asked the driver whether or not he/she had been drinking, the answer invariably was: "I'll tell ya the truth offisher, I had two beers". Ask any cop, he'll tell you the same thing. Amazing how loaded some people can get on two beers![/QUOTE]
Not if each beer was a pitcher. :oh:
Of course, they're admiting to drinking because they know you know they've been drinking. But, they don't want to be arrested so they want you to think their blood is under the legal limit.
2005-07-14 17:34 | User Profile
[QUOTE=xmetalhead]I'm so scared of getting pulled over by America's Goon Squad, aka The Police, that when I go out to a restaurant or bar I can't even get a buzz anymore. And if I can't relax and get a nice buzz on, it ain't worth going out at all.[/QUOTE]
Yeah, hence the advantage of backyard cookouts. At your house, anyway.
2005-07-14 18:07 | User Profile
[QUOTE=Hugh Lincoln]Yeah, hence the advantage of backyard cookouts. At your house, anyway.[/QUOTE]
Totally. Either at my house or my neighbor down the street. Works for me. Plus I can smoke a cigarette or cigar with my drink and I don't have to put up with the A-holes in a bar nor go outside just to smoke.