← Autodidact Archive · Original Dissent · il ragno

Grim and Ghastly

Thread ID: 17569 | Posts: 14 | Started: 2005-03-30

il ragno [OP]

2005-03-30 09:46 | User Profile

William Grim is an editor of ICONOCLAST Magazine; he is also a freelancer whose work has appeared in The Jewish Press and has been republished on the Benjamin Netanyahu website. His archive - including a number of unsold [?] B-movie screenplay synopses - is located at [url]http://williamegrim.tripod.com/[/url].

Here's some of his "best" work, discussing attending the Munich premiere of the Polanski Holocaust movie THE PIANIST.

[QUOTE][url]http://www.zcportal.com/2002/1202/pianist.asp[/url]

I have to admit that it is a strange experience to watch a Holocaust film in Germany. It's even stranger when you're the only American in the midst of about 200 Germans. But perhaps the strangest thing of all is to watch the reactions of the Germans as the events of the movie unfold. You hear a lot about how Germans are so ashamed today of the behavior of their countrymen during the Nazi period and about how much they've done to atone for their past sins. Don't buy that bill of goods. If the audience of the screening I attended is any indication of German attitudes in general, it doesn't augur well for the future. Remember, this wasn't an audience composed of skinheads from the neo-Nazi enclaves in Karlsruhe and the former DDR. This was a group of Germany's best and brightest: educated, middle class, sophisticated denizens of a major cosmopolitan city.

One scene in particular is seared into my consciousness. It happens about halfway into the film. The Jews of Warsaw have been herded into the Ghetto. A street used by the Germans bisects the Ghetto. While a group of Jews is waiting to cross to the other side of the street, several Nazi thugs force some elderly Jews to dance at an increasingly faster tempo. Weakened by malnutrition, hobbling on crutches, riddled with heart and lung infirmities, many of the Jews fall to the ground in sheer agony. It's a sickening scene. It's the kind of scene that makes you ashamed that your last name is Grim. Hell, it's the kind of scene that makes you ashamed that you listen to Beethoven. If an American soldier had done the same to a German or Jap POW he would have been thrown into the brig for life or cashiered out of the service on a Section 8. But there they were, today's educated, freedom-loving, let's-all-hold-hands-and-love-one-another Germans, laughing at torture.

If there is a more sickening spectacle than Germans finding humor in what their fathers and grandfathers did to the Jews, if there is a more perfect example of the utter lack if humanity at the core of the German nation, I am unaware of it. There is something terribly wrong with Germany and the German Volk. The German soul is a deep abyss, a fetid, stinking morass that befouls the community of nations. But wait, there's more.

Another scene from the movie that stands out is when an SS guard announces to a half-starving Jewish work detail that they will be receiving an additional portion of bread with their rations, one that they can sell to other Jews, because "everybody knows how clever the Jews are at selling things." This time the audience fairly rolled with laughter.

I was tempted to call in an airstrike on the theater, or at the very least to bitch slap a couple of hundred Germans, but I managed to hold my fire knowing that ultimately any World War II movie ends badly for the Germans. Normally I don't talk back to the screen at the movies, but I do have to admit that I did yell out " U S A" and pumped my fist in the air when the Szpilman family listened to the announcement on the radio that the United States had declared war on Germany. And I also do have to admit that it felt mighty fine to yell out "shoot those damn Nazis" when the film showed the Jews starting to fight back during the Warsaw Uprising.

It's funny how quiet the theater became when near the film's end a group of SS goons were shown in a holding camp awaiting transportation to a deserved harsh fate in the Russian gulag. And then it became clear as a bell. German shame for World War II does not result from a moral awareness of the innumerable crimes and atrocities committed by the Germans. No, the Germans are ashamed because they got their rear ends handed back to them by a bunch of Yanks, Russkies and Brits who they considered-and still consider-to be members of inferior races.

After the movie was over I strolled along Schellingstrasse in the Schwabing district of Munich. By chance I happened to pass the site of the original headquarters of the Nazi Party. It's an interior decorating company now. How appropriate. On the surface Germany may be a changed nation, far removed from the heyday of its Nazi period. But it's all a faÃÂ§ade. The wallpaper and carpeting may be new, the portraits of Hitler may have been replaced by African objets d'art, but the foundation of the structure is Nazi through and through.

And as the German economy plunges further into a recession that is largely of its own making, as even German economists begin to notice the disturbing parallels between the economies of 2002 and 1932, the question remains as to how long it will be before the Germans let their inner Nazis manifest themselves in public. The Eternal Nazi, I'm afraid, will be with us as long as there is a German nation. [/QUOTE]

[QUOTE][url]http://www.zcportal.com/2003/025.asp[/url]

I like to watch the news on the big-screen TV in the main concourse at the Central Train Station of Munich. It’s enjoyable because it’s wonderful to see the Iraqi and other Muslim guest workers who do the dirty work of Germany actually cheering on the victorious American troops in Baghdad. The other day I witnessed an Iraqi man who works at one of the food stands jumping for joy because he saw on the television his home town being liberated by American troops.

And it’s also enjoyable to watch the news at the train station to see the pained expressions on the faces of all the locals. And let’s be real honest. Old Europeans have always had a soft spot for dictators. In a strange way, the defeat of Saddam’s Ba’ath Party is the final defeat of National Socialism. Few people realize that the Ba’ath Party was founded in the 1930s by Arab nationalists who were inspired by the example of Hitler and who shared the extreme anti-Semitism of the Nazis. And the end to Saddam appears eerily similar to that of ol’ Schiklgruber—a cowardly dictator hiding out in a bunker while he sacrifices thousands of his countrymen so that he can stay alive just a few more hours.

Once again Old Europe has backed a dictator and lost.

Once again America was right and Old Europe was wrong.

Old Europeans are forever saying that Americans are stupid and unsophisticated. That point is debatable, but even if we are as dumb as the Old Europeans say, at least Americans know the difference between right and wrong.

There’s a lesson to be learned here for Old Europe. It’s very simple. Old Europeans, please repeat after me:

“Hitler was a bad man. He murdered millions of people. We were wrong to support him. Stalin was a bad man. He murdered millions of people. We were wrong to support him. Saddam is (was?) a bad man. He tried to be like Hitler and Stalin. We were wrong to try to prevent the United States from stopping Saddam from being a bad man.”

Good, very good job, Old Europeans. Now, here’s your homework for tomorrow. Please memorize the following:

“Freedom is good; dictators are bad; America is good.”

Now, Old Europeans, finish your peas, brush your teeth and it’s off to bed with you.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE][url]http://www.zcportal.com/2002/1217/nazimarch.asp[/url]

I hadn’t planned on attending a Nazi march, but I have to admit I was intrigued when I was on the campus of Ludwig Maximilian University in Munich and was handed a flyer that announced an anti-Nazi demonstration to protest a planned Nazi march on the Goetheplatz on November 30th. Finally, I said to myself, here are some of those mythical Germans I keep hearing about who are so opposed to the resurgence of National Socialism. And I have to admit that there was a certain morbid fascination to the possibility of seeing evil incarnate up close and personal. Oh, heck, I’m just gonna admit it. The thought of a riot breaking out and having the chance to kick a Nazi where the sun don’t shine was just too good to pass up.

As the day wore on, the ironies and the similarities between the Nazis and the anti-Nazi protesters would increase exponentially. One was most startled by what was missing, namely, any symbol of resistance to totalitarianism. There wasn’t a German Bundesrepublik flag or an American Star and Stripes to be seen anywhere. No image of Konrad Adenauer, the Reverend Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Thomas Mann or any other of the few Germans who actually opposed Hitler during the time of the Third Reich. Also conspicuously absent were any signs of solidarity with Jews or the State of Israel, you know, the original victims of the Nazis. And here is where the Nazis and the anti-Nazi protesters found their greatest point of convergence: They both hate Israel with a passion. Indeed, anti-Semitism is the only political belief in Germany that outpaces anti-Americanism in its virulence and intensity.

Germans, it seems, will kneel down before any totalitarian ideology faster than a starlet auditioning for a Hollywood producer. And therein lies the problem with today’s Germany. They may have been forced by America and her allies to abandon Nazism, but true democracy has yet to take firm root in the German psyche. There wasn’t a dime’s bit of difference between the Nazis and the anti-Nazis at the November 3o0th march in Munich. It was just a watered-down version of the old Nazi-Bolshevik street fighting that occurred all throughout the years of the Weimar Republic. It is doubtful whether the Germans will ever embrace true democracy, true capitalism or true liberty. All three of those concepts require an emphasis on the individual, something that Germans, who are nothing if not cradle socialists, find to be absolutely abhorrent. Deep in their heart of hearts, the German Volk long for those goose-stepping days of yore. It doesn’t really make any difference if the uniform shirts they wear are brown or red, just as long as they all think alike, look alike and march to the beat of a single drummer.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE][url]http://www.jewishpress.com/news_article.asp?article=2246[/url]

It was an eerie experience being an American in Europe on September 11, 2001. The anxiety of the moment, however, was mitigated in many ways by the reactions of Europeans. Even the notoriously churlish and haughty French seemed to let down their guard for a while. Indeed, one French newspaper had a headline that stated "We are all Americans now."

But within two weeks of 9/11 the old anti-Americanism was back to the forefront. At first, criticism of America was delivered in an oblique fashion. The Old European mantra of the day was We hope America won`t use 9/11 as an excuse to start a war. When this talking point was given to me on a daily basis by my German colleagues I always responded by saying that America had no choice because war had already been declared on her. The incredulous looks given to me by the Germans spoke vast amounts about how little Old Europeans comprehend about geopolitics and how myopic their worldview has become.

Germans in particular were embarrassed that the planning for 9/11 was discovered to have been conducted by the terrorists in Hamburg. Later on, Germany was revealed to be the main parts and equipment supplier for Saddam Hussein`s weapons of mass destruction building program. The French, of course, have longstanding commercial ties to Saddam.

The more that the murky world of Muslim terrorism was examined the more connections were found between the terrorists and Old Europe. Every time new details were brought out about these ties there was a corresponding increase in anti-American (and anti-Israel) rhetoric. What else could the Old Europeans do? Having neither international law nor the facts on their side, the Old Europeans were left with only two possibilities: admit they were wrong, or try to discredit the United States. Of course, Old Europe chose the latter, and morally reprehensible, alternative.

Then America defeated the Taliban using an extremely small force utilizing a plan devised by CIA veterans of the Afghan-Soviet Union Wars of the 1980`s. It was not only a brilliant victory, it also demonstrated to Old Europe that America was more informed about the region than they were.

Then Old Europe`s worst possible nightmare became reality: Kabul was liberated and on live TV thousands of Muslims were dancing in the streets praising America and waving American flags.

It wasnt supposed to happen like this, according to Old Europe. America was supposed to get bogged down like the Soviets in the 1980s. Of course, what Old Europe forgot was that America -- unlike the Soviet Union, or unlike the Germans in World War II, or unlike France during the time of Napoleon -- came to Afghanistan as a liberator, not a conqueror.

America was shown to be tough, resolved and above all else, intelligent. America showed the strength of a virtuous people fighting a noble cause. America displayed that she had the will to carry through with the task at hand. In sum, America refused to be a victim.

It was here that America and Old Europe parted company, perhaps irrevocably.

What soon became apparent was that Old Europes friendliness toward America in the immediate aftermath of 9/11 was not based upon the outrage of putative allies who believe that an attack on one NATO member is an attack on all. No, Old Europe was glad that America was finally a "victim", and that perhaps this terrorist wake up call would entice America to abandon its "simplistic" approach to foreign affairs and follow the lead of Paris and Berlin. Cowardice and collaboration may be French characteristics, but consistency surely isnt one of them.

Now you might think that after having committed the most barbaric atrocities in all of world history and being responsible for the deaths of millions of people, the Germans would be somewhat reluctant to play the victim card. Think again. According to the Germans, they are also victims. One of the best-selling books in Germany today is titled Der Brand (The Fire) by the historian Joerg Friedrich. This book is an account of the bombing campaign against Germany in World War II. According to Friedrich, the Germans were all victims. The politics of victimhood is a convenient way for Old Europeans to revert to their old modes of thinking without causing irreparable political damage. No German politico can legally express overtly anti-Semitic sentiments. German leaders, however, are able to (and do so quite frequently) say that they are "anti-Zionist", the new Old European code word for anti-Semitism. German leaders quite freely express extreme opposition to the State of Israel and complete solidarity with the Palestinian terrorists.

Whenever America and Israel stand up to the forces of Muslim terrorism, and refuse to be victims, it irritates the Old Europeans because it reminds them of their past and present moral failures. Old Europe has always lacked, and continues to lack, the will to resist evil. Old Europe`s moral failings are explicit and numerous. And Old Europe cannot abide the fact that America has the strength and determination to stay the course in the War on Terror. Every American victory in the present struggle is a reminder of German and French complicity in the worst horrors of the past century.

The French deeply resent the fact that America has pulled their fat out of the fire twice in the past century. Germans deeply resent the fact that their democracy and their prosperity are the result of American generosity, a generosity so profound in the wake of German atrocities and war crimes, that America will always possess the position of moral superiority to the descendants of Kaiser Bill and Hitler. And considering what the Germans did to the Jews, Germany has forever ceded the right to criticize anything that Israel does.

While Old Europe may have become irrelevant in terms of political and military power, Old Europeans have always prided themselves on being so much more intelligent than Americans, so much wiser in the ways of the world and possessed of a cynical subtlety rather than the gee-whiz naive optimism of Americans. Well, the results are coming in and it now appears that Americans are smarter and better educated than the Old Europeans, especially the Germans. It has been particularly amusing to see those Old European collaborators, the French and the Germans, get outfoxed by America and her allies from New Europe.

Old Europe will continue to hate America and Israel. Anti-Semitism will continue its phenomenal rise in Old Europe. But as they look at their maps of Europe, the leaders of Old Europe can`t be pleased by what they see. To the east, the south and the west, Old Europe finds itself surrounded by the countries of New Europe --vital, morally courageous and pro-American.[/QUOTE]

Wait - there's more. Much more.

Do Morris Dees and Foxman know about this guy?

RowdyRoddyPiper

2005-03-30 09:53 | User Profile

One of his worst:

[QUOTE]I cannot deny that there much in Mr. Abbott's demise of one being hoisted on one's petard. The squalor, inhumanity, filth (both in the metaphorical and hygienic senses), depravity, ugliness and ignorance of everything that heavy metal represents (Like rap, I cannot use the noble term music in a description of heavy metal) creates a mindset among its devotees in which Mr. Abbott's assassination was an event that was all but waiting to happen.

It was highly amusing, and also terribly sad, to watch on television fans conducting a "vigil" for the slain Mr. Abbott outside of the Alrosa Villa. It was an assemblage of ignorant, semi-human barbarians who were filthy in attire and manner, intellectually incoherent and above all else, hideously ugly to the point of physical deformity. Here is a definite case in which the outer appearance of these "fans" accurately represented the hideousness of their souls. That the physical deformity of their ugliness was self-inflicted makes the spiritual tragedy of their misspent lives all the more tragic.

But one can see why the heavy metal fans so closely identified with Mr. Abbott. He was an ignorant, barbaric, untalented possessor of a guitar and large amplifier system. Freakish in appearance, more simian than human, he was the performer of a type of "entertainment" that can be likened only to a gorilla on PCP. Lacking subtlety, wit, style, emotional range and anything approaching even the smallest iota of intellectual or musical interest, Mr. Abbott was part of a generation that has confused sputum with art and involuntary reflex actions with emotion.

De gustibus non disputandem est. Matters of taste are not subject to argument. That has been a general principle of aesthetics for some time, and when we are talking about the visceral preference for Mozart or Haydn or Beethoven among civilized human beings we are on pretty safe ground. I do not understand exactly why I prefer Haydn to my good friend who prefers Beethoven. But we both agree (as do all civilized human beings) that both Messrs. Haydn and Beethoven are numerous steps further along the evolutionary trail than Dimebag Abbott.

Here is one area in which conservatives have failed and failed miserably. Whether it is out of a lack of interest or despair, conservatives for too long have ceded the entire field of aesthetics to the trust fund red babies of the blue states. And look at what this has brought us. So-called heavy metal music, so-called rap music, operas and stage plays in which modern "stagings" reduce Verdi and Shakespeare to the condition of a schizophrenic's finger paintings. Leftist domination in the visual arts has made a mockery of the aesthetic greatness of modernism and replaced it with the turd encased in Lucite. And the grammatically-challenged racist rantings of Amiri Baraka now pass for poetry.

However, we conservatives should not confuse family values with aesthetics. In the realm of art, our evangelical brethren have many crimes to answer for. When a church replaces Bach with Bacharach it has engaged in the aesthetic rape of the liturgy. Just because one has good intentions and approaches the numinous with "sincerity" and "authenticity" (the latter term ironically being a buzzword among the Marxist aestheticians of the Frankfurt School), that does not absolve one from aesthetic responsibility.

As far as I am concerned, those who advocate a dumbed-down liturgy and schlocky pop music substitutes for Bach, Handel and the masses of the Renaissance, are as offensive as the Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church and his perverse sexual politics.

Part of the hard work of civilization is teaching young to be able to distinguish between the good and the bad in all aspects of life. If we teach our young children to obey the 10 Commandments and to obey the laws of the land, but don't teach them to realize that Johann Sebastian Bach is superior to Dimebag Abbott, we have failed as parents and mentors. If a person has gone through 12 or 13 years of education and has not developed an appreciation for the greatest artistic achievements of mankind, that education has been an utter failure.

While laissez-faire is the correct approach to economics it has no place in the realm of aesthetics or morality. A confidant civilization imposes its morality and aesthetics on its young people. Yes, you heard it right. We impose. The Rousseauian noble savage is a myth. Left unchecked and untutored the savage will never attain nobility.

There are those who will accuse me of elitism. And I admit it. I am a conservative elitist. I want the very best. The very best form of government, the very best of civilizations, the very best educational system, the very best literature and art, the very best music, the very best way of life. If I need open heart surgery I want to go to an elite heart surgeon.

Mediocrity is the goal of socialism. Americans should aspire to greatness.

In the past forty years, conservatives have won great victories in the political, economic and moral realms, but we stand to throw all our gains away if we do not reclaim ascendancy in the aesthetic realm as well.

And while the murder of even a semi-human barbarian like Mr. Abbott is tragic and to be lamented, it would be wrong to ignore Mr. Abbott's complicity in contributing to the soul-deadening culture of death, ugliness, depravity and inhumanity that spawned his killer.

Hugo von Hofmannsthal once remarked that "all powerful imaginations are conservative." It is time for conservatives to utilize their imaginations and reclaim the field of aesthetics from the left-that is, while there is still something left in the aesthetic realm worth reclaiming.[/QUOTE]

il ragno

2005-03-30 10:37 | User Profile

Rowdy Roddy, I'm glad somebody else has verified that I'm not dreaming up this "William Grim"; I thought I'd ate some bad clams and was hallucinating.

More Grim Fairy Tales:

[QUOTE]I'm not Jewish. Nobody in my family died in the Holocaust. For me, anti-Semitism has always been one of those phenomena that doesn't really register on my radar, like tribal genocide in Rwanda, a horrible thing that happens to someone else. But I live in a small town outside of Munich on a street that until May of 1945 was named Adolf-Hitler-Strasse. I work in Munich, a pleasant metropolitan city of a little over a million inhabitants whose Bavarian charm tends to obscure the fact that this city was the birthplace and capital of the Nazi movement. Every day when I go to work I pass by the sites of apartments Hitler lived in, extant buildings in which decisions were made to murder millions of innocent people, and plazas in which book burnings took place, SS troops paraded and people were executed. The proximity to evil has a way of concentrating one's attention, of putting a physical reality to the textbook narratives of the horrors perpetrated by the Germans.

Maybe it's because I have blond hair and my last name is of German origin that the Germans feel that I am, or could potentially be, "one of them." It shows how much they understand what it means to be an American.

My thesis is quite simple. While Germany no longer has the military power to enforce the racist ideology of the Nazis and while all extreme manifestations of Nazism are officially outlawed, the internal conditions--that is, the attitudes, worldview and cultural assumptions--that led to the rise of Nazism in Germany are still present because they constitute the basic components of German identity. Nazism was not an aberration; it was the distillation of the German psyche into its essential elements. External Nazism may have been utterly defeated in May of 1945; internal Nazism, however, remains, and will always remain, a potential threat as long as there exists a political and/or cultural entity known as Germany.

In many respects Germany got away with the Holocaust without paying much of a price. Yes, many Germans died as a result of German perpetration of World War II and the Holocaust, and yes, there was much physical destruction in the country, but the situation is like the little boy who steals a cookie from the tray when it is cooling on the kitchen table. For his efforts he may have gotten his hand slapped by his mother, but the stolen cookie remains eaten nonetheless.

After having committed the worst crimes in the history of humankind, the Germans were allowed to regain their sovereignty after only ten years, their infrastructure was completely rebuilt thanks to the generosity of the American people, and relatively few Germans were brought to trial for their monstrous crimes. Even those who were tried and convicted received relatively short sentences or had those reduced or commuted in general amnesties. For example, some members of the Einsatzkommandos, those Germans who, before the construction of the death camps, hunted and murdered Jews by the hundreds of thousands, received sentences of as little as five years imprisonment.

If there were true justice in the world, Germany would no longer exist as a separate country, but would have long ago had its territory divided up and dispersed among the Allies. It was an unfortunate historical coincidence that the Cold War began just as Germany was at last being brought to task for its many crimes and atrocities extending back to the First World War. The new threat of the Soviet Union took precedence over a just settling of accounts with Germany. The tragic result is that many of the countries raped and despoiled by Germany, such as the Czech Republic and Poland, are just now coming out of decades of economic decline, while Germany--fat, sassy, arrogant, self-satisfied, and essentially Judenfrei--has enjoyed four decades of undeserved economic prosperity.

We can't turn back the clock to redress all of the historical wrongs that have been committed by the Germans, but there are a number of things that can be done to assure that Germany can never again be in a position to threaten the rest of the civilized world. First and foremost is the realization that, while not all Germans are anti-Semitic, there is an anti-Semitic tendency within German culture that extends back to the time of Martin Luther. Germans are instinctively anti-Semitic in the same way that Americans are instinctively freedom loving. Anti-Semitism has been and unfortunately remains the default ideology of the German people. All things being equal, Germans will instinctively support the enemies of the State of Israel. Therefore, America will need to monitor closely and be ready and politically willing to intervene at a moment's notice in German affairs when it appears that Germany is back-sliding into anti-Semitism.

Additionally, it should be a goal of American foreign policy to oppose and to accelerate the dismemberment of the European Union. We must not allow German domination of the EU to accomplish through parliamentary maneuvering and brokered deals what Hitler and the Germans were unable to accomplish during the Third Reich. Given Germany's resurgent anti-Semitism (and that of France as well), a strong, German-dominated EU that tolerates and even benignly encourages anti-Semitism and is diplomatically allied with the Arab world, is potentially the greatest threat to Judaism since Nazi Germany and a major threat to the United States as well. The enemies of Israel are the enemies of the United States. Let all Jews and Americans stand united as we proclaim never again to both the Holocaust and 9/11.[/QUOTE]

Forget Foxman: how does this piece of shit not have his own byline at FrontPage, the Standard or NR?

Additionally, Grim is also -choke - a satirist. Witness his clever, feather-light satirical touch:

[QUOTE][B]FBI Believes Ohio Sniper Is Disgruntled West Virginian[/B]

The head of the FBI’s special task force that is investigating the sniper who has been terrorizing motorists on Interstate 270 of Columbus, Ohio said today that he believes the sniper is a disgruntled West Virginian. “We received a letter this morning from a man from West Virginia who claims to be the sniper,” said Special Agent Rick Dallfuss. “And we think it’s legitimate because he misspelled both ‘West’ and ‘Virginia.’”

According to FBI profilers, the man who sent the letter appears to have an IQ lower than 45, has fewer than 3 teeth, and is the child of an incestuous relationship, or in other words, a typical West Virginian.

[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE][B]French Army to Market "Ultimate Surrender" Video Game[/B]

the General Staff of the French Army has announced plans to market "Ultimate Surrender," a video game based upon the proud military traditions of the Gauls.

In the game we follow the exploits of Lucky Pierre, an apprentice garlic salesman from Marseilles, as he joins the French Army and begins a rigorous course of combat training. The First Level of the game is called "Survival School," and the players have to help Lucky Pierre survive 24 hours without red wine or crÃÂ¨me brulÃÂ©. The Second Level is "Capitulation," and the goal here is to see which player can have Lucky Pierre surrender the fastest without firing a shot or getting his uniform dirty. Level Three is "Collaboration." Here the players battle to see who can collect the largest numbers of pairs of nylon stockings and packages of chocolates by having Lucky Pierre perform sexual favors for members of the occupying forces. Level Four is "Be Ungrateful to America for Rescuing Your Sorry French Ass Once Again." In this extremely challenging part of the game contestants vie with one another to see who can make Lucky Pierre behave in the surliest manner when the United States inevitably comes to the rescue of the defeated French. The Final Level is "Pretending to Have Been in the Resistance." Here contestants compete in a battle of tall tales and whoppers as they try to protect Lucky Pierre from treason charges.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE][B]Dr. Grim Goes to War-Hunting the Ace of Spades[/B]

While the Special Ops guys and the CIA are doing door-to-door and bunker searches for the ex-dictator of Iraq I've decided to follow up on a hunch of my own. It occurred to me that there's one thing that all megalomaniac sleazebags-you know, guys like Saddam, O.J. and Bill Clinton-have in common is bad taste. Well, the one thing that all jerks have in common is a belief that Hooters is the ultimate dining experience. So that's why I'm undercover here at the Damascus Hooters. Sooner or later Saddam, Tariq Aziz or one of their henchmen is going to put in an appearance, and when they do Dr. Grim is going in for the kill.

God, what a disgusting place. Ugh, they even let in camels. No, wait a second, those aren't camels; they're the waitresses. They're wearing burqas, but you can still see their mustaches.

Hold on. Who's this who just entered the place? I quickly look through my deck of cards.

Yes, it's the 2nd alternate Joker, Ali bin Urqel, the Deputy Assistant Comptroller of the Ba'ath Party, the man everyone calls Creative Accounting Ali. Well, Creative Accounting Ali, it looks like Dr. Grim is going to close out your account.

I leap up on a table and spray Ali and his entourage with enough bullets from my Uzi to wipe out the Osmonds. In five seconds it's all over.

I quickly leave the restaurant, don my Lawrence of Arabia disguise and blend in with the teeming hordes of raghead terrorists.

Two hours later I'm in a Broken Newz safe house at an "undisclosed location." I'm nursing five fingers of Maker's Mark when my secure cell phone rings.

"Yes, Mr. President," I answer. "Right. I'm on my way to Pyongyang."[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE][B]Criterion to Release Director's Cut of Saddam's 1968 Gay Porn Debut[/B]

With the discovery of a print of Saddam Hussein's long-lost 1968 gay porn film debut entitled "La'iba al-Waladaani" ("The Two Boys Played"), film archivists from Criterion have rushed into production a DVD featuring the director's cut of the film along with a special commentary track recorded by former Iraqi Prime Minister Tariq Aziz. Brad Carty, editor of "Gay Boys in Bondage" fanzine, said in an interview that Saddam's performance in "La'iba al-Waladaani" is "very realistic and powerful." Carty went on to say that "Saddam really put the dick in dictator, if you catch my drift."

Officials from Criterion are already combing the archives for more of the Iraqi auteur's oeuvre. Future Saddam gay porn releases include: "The Baghdad Butt Burglar," "Queers from Umm Qasr," "Ali Baba's Anal Adventures," "Boys Only Ba'ath Party" and all five films from the famous "Saddam-izer" series.[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE][B]May 16th Is "Focque France Day"[/B]

Publisher/Editor Bill "Perry White" Doty announced yesterday that May 16th has been officially designated as "Focque France Day." He called on all patriotic webmasters and editors of on-line publications to help promote this special day "when we all give thanks for being Americans by heaping abuse and calumny upon the perfidious peckernosed pimplepickers of Paris."

"Those backstabbing bastards of Bordeaux are at it again," continued Doty whose alliteration-laden speech was interrupted by standing ovations no less than 67 times. "France supported Saddam, and now that their good buddy is gone the French expect a piece of the reconstruction contract pie. Well, the only pie they're going to get is a custard crÃÂ¨me is the face."

With that, Doty unloaded a complete French silk pie with extra whipped crÃÂ¨me onto the face of M. Roland de la Poofter, France's ambassador to the United States.[/QUOTE] [I]Oh, my sides!![/I] That is some deft satire.

Grim also has a blog...even more of his shit-talking available at [url]http://flyovercountrychronicles.blogspot.com/[/url]

il ragno

2005-03-30 10:38 | User Profile

Rowdy Roddy, I'm glad somebody else has verified that I'm not hallucinating this "William Grim"; I thought I'd ate some bad clams and was hallucinating.

More Grim Fairy Tales:

Forget Foxman: how does this piece of shit not have his own byline at FrontPage, the Standard or NR?

Additionally, Grim is also -choke - a satirist. Witness his clever, feather-light satirical touch:

[QUOTE][B]Hollywood Coroner Throws in the Towel: "I Won’t Perform Brando’s Autopsy"[/B]

When asked at what point he made his decision to retire, Dr. Rippington replied, "It wasn’t any one thing in particular, but I guess it really all came home when I was doing Lew Wasserman’s autopsy. Now there was a real gentleman. Eighty-nine years old but the liver and spleen of a teenager, not even a drop of barbiturates or PCPs. End of an era. Then I got back to the office and I checked out who was in the death pool. Yeah, I know it’s tacky, but every coroner’s office has got a death pool and if I’m lyin’ I’m flyin’. Well, the pickin’s didn’t look too good: Snoop Doggy Dogg, Alabama (yeah, you know those country-western bands get wiped out in tour bus crashes all the time), Winona Ryder (god, imagine all the crap she’s snorted) and Marlon Brando. I said to myself, not Brando, the dude must weigh like 900 pounds by now. That’s it. I’m not gonna do Brando’s autopsy. No way, Jose. So I threw down my scalpel and went over to Balboa Beach and looked at the waves for five hours. I’ve been at peace with my decision ever since."

In honor of his many years of service to the Hollywood community, the Motion Picture Academy announced today that it will present Dr. Rippington with the Irving Thalberg Lifetime Achievement Award during the 2003 Oscar broadcast.[/QUOTE]