← Autodidact Archive · Original Dissent · Robbie
Thread ID: 17229 | Posts: 8 | Started: 2005-03-10
2005-03-10 22:59 | User Profile
Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small? A: Because they aren't his!
Q: What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson? A: Get out of my sun!
Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning? A: Throw him a buoy!
Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?? A: He thought it was a delivery service.
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Casper? A: One is pale and scares kids and the other is a friendly ghost.
Q: How do we know Michael is guilty? A: Several children have fingered him.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson rush over to Wal-Mart? A. He heard that boys' pants were 1/2 off.
Q. What's the difference between a supermarket bag and Michael Jackson? A. One is white, made of plastic, and should be kept away from small children. The other is used to hold groceries.
Q. How do you know when it's bedtime at the Neverland Ranch? A. When the big hand touches the little hand.
Q. What's brown and often found in children's underpants? A. Michael Jackson's hand.
Q. What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson's dreams every night? A. Hanson.
Q. What the difference between Michael Jackson and acne? A. Acne doesn't come on your face until you're about fifteen.
Q. Why can you always win a race with Michael Jackson? A. Because he always likes to come in a little behind.
Q. What did Michael Jackson say to Gary Glitter? A. I'll swap you a 10 for two fives
Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider to be a perfect "10"? A: Two 5 year olds.
Janet and Michael Jackson were at home one night... Janet: Shall we get a pizza and video tonight? Michael: Yeah, okay, can we get Aladdin? Janet: No, just a pizza and video
Q: What famous celebrity had the most children over the last 10 years? A: Michael Jackson
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and greyhound racing? A: The greyhounds wait for the hares to come out.
Q: What do Michael and homework have in common? A: Both are a pain in the ass to kids
The Pope has issued a proclamation on Michael Jackson: If he hears any more allegations about little boys, the Pope says he'll have no choice but to make him a priest.
The FBI raided Michael Jackson's house: They found class A drugs in his kitchen, Class B drugs in his living room and Class 5C in his bedroom.
Michael Jackson and his wife are in the recovery room with their new baby son. The doctor walks in and Michael asks, "Doctor, how long before we can have sex?" "I'd wait until he's at least 14," the doctor replies.
2005-03-11 03:38 | User Profile
It's too easy to pick on Michael Jackson. The guy is seriously and profoundly ill.
2005-03-11 16:13 | User Profile
What do MIchael Jackson and JC Penney have in common? They both have boys underware half off.
What is the main course at a Michael Jackson Bar B Que? 46 year old meat in 12 year old buns.
2005-03-12 04:55 | User Profile
Robbie,
Funny as hell! :lol: :cheers:
2005-03-12 13:59 | User Profile
What's Jacko's favorite kind of Chinese food?
Sum yun gai.
Bonus jokes!
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
On a group of deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are suddenly stranded by a series of shipwrecks:
2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman 2 English men and 1 English woman 2 Bulgarian men and 1 Bulgarian woman 2 Japanese men and 1 Japanese woman 2 Chinese men and 1 Chinese woman 2 American men and 1 American woman 2 Irish men and 1 Irish woman
One month later, the following things have occurred:
One Italian man killed the other for the Italian woman.
The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage-a-trois.
The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.
The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them.
The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman.
The two Bulgarian men took one long look at the horizon, and another long look at the Bulgarian woman, and started swimming.
The two Japanese men have faxed Tokyo for further instructions.
The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy, a liquor store, a restaurant and a laundry, and have got the woman pregnant to supply them with workers.
The two American men have committed suicide because the American woman keeps endlessly complaining about her body; the true nature of feminism; how she can do everything they can do; the necessity of fulfillment; the equal division of household chores; how sand and palm trees make her look fat; how her last boyfriend genuinely respected her opinion; etc, etc, etc.
The two Irish men have divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets sort of foggy after the first few litres. But they're happy that at least the English aren't having any fun.
2005-03-12 14:19 | User Profile
[QUOTE=il ragno]What's Jacko's favorite kind of Chinese food?
Sum yun gai.[/QUOTE]
That's not quite it.
It's what is Jacko's favourite Chinese soup?
Cream of sum yung boy.
2005-03-12 14:20 | User Profile
[QUOTE=OPERA96] What is the main course at a Michael Jackson Bar B Que? 46 year old meat in 12 year old buns.[/QUOTE]
That takes the cake!
2005-03-12 17:37 | User Profile
Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book? A: It's called, "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing
Q: What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in !!
Q: Did you hear that Michael Jackson and Tonya Harding have decided to begin training racehorses together? A: Yeah, she's gonna do all the handicapping and he's gonna ride all the three-year-olds!
Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small? A: Because they aren't his!
`Did you hear about Michael Jackson's toaster? ~The bread goes in brown, and comes out white.
Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A: From a catalogue.
`What do Michael Jackson & Michael Jordan have in common? ~They both play ball in the Minor League.
`What's the difference between them? ~One is in the Minors, the other is into Minors.
`Why was Michael Jackson relieved of his Cub Scout Leader duties? ~He was up to a pack a day.
`Did you know they're putting out a Michael Jackson stamp? ~Fans get to vote for the white or black Michael Jackson.
`Why doesn't Michael have orgasms? ~The big payoff comes a couple of months later.
`What's the worst stain to try to remove from a little boy's underpants? ~Michael Jackson's makeup.
`Did you hear about the duet by Michael Jackson and Elton John? ~It is titled "Don't let your son go down on me."
`What's the difference between Mr. Potato Head and Michael Jackson? ~Michael Jackson has had more noses.
`What's Michael Jackson's favorite nursery rhyme? ~"Little Boy Blew."
`Did you know that Michael Jackson just turned 35? ~Yeah, but he still feels like a 13 year old.
`How is Michael dealing with his problems? ~He's holding his own.
`How are Michael's friends dealing with the problem? ~They're all standing behind him.
`What's sex like for Michael? ~Child's Play.
`Why does Michael like children so much? ~He knows how they feel.
`What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a Plastic bag? ~One is made out of plastic and is dangerous for kids to play with and one is used to carry groceries.
`Why does Michael own a theme park? ~He's always been into children's shit.
`What makes Michael Jackson so unique? ~It's the little boy inside him.
`What's the new movie about Michael Jackson called? ~"The Hand that Robs the Cradle."
`What's the difference between Nixon and Michael Jackson? ~One was a consummate asshole, the other a consummated asshole.
`What's Michaels' next movie? ~Honey I Blew the Kid.
`How are Michael's friends like U.S. veterans? ~They all get ****ed in the end.
`Why did Michael Jackson want to join the Branch Davidians? ~So he could be black again.
A confused nine year old boy goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God male or female?" After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well, God is both male and female." This confuses the little boy so he asks, "Is God black or white?" "Well, God is both black and white." This further confuses the boy so he asks, "Is God gay or straight?" At this the mother is getting concerned, but answers none the less, "Honey, God is both gay and straight." At this, the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks, "Is God Michael Jackson?"