← Autodidact Archive · Original Dissent · Blond Knight
Thread ID: 16122 | Posts: 16 | Started: 2004-12-30
2004-12-30 03:42 | User Profile
[url]http://www.federalobserver.com/archive.php?aid=9160[/url]
Ordering Pizza in 2008
Operator: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national ID number?
Customer: Hi, I'd like to place an order.
Operator: I must have your NIDN first, sir.
Customer: My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's 6102049998-45-54610.
Operator: Thank you Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number is 266-2566. E-mail address is [email]eehan@home.net[/email]. I see you're calling me from home.
Customer: Huh? Where'd you get all this information?
Operator: We're wired into the HSS, sir.
Customer: The HSS, what is that?
Operator: We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time.
Customer: (sighs) Oh well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas.
Operator: I don't think that's a good idea, sir.
Customer: Whaddya mean?
Operator: Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice.
Customer: What?!?! What do you recommend, then?
Operator: You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it.
Customer: What makes you think I'd like something like that?
Operator: Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion.
Customer: All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then.
Operator: That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids. Your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is $49.99.
Customer: Let me give you my credit card number.
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit.
Customer: I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here.
Operator: That won't work either, sir. Your checking account is overdrawn also.
Customer: Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?
Operator: We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick'em up while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward.
Customer: Wait! How do you know I ride a bike?
Operator: It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid for and you just filled the tank yesterday.
Customer: Well, I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#
Operator: I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 4, 2003 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one I see here in September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at a judge. Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the State Correctional Facility. Is this your first pizza since your return to society?
Customer: (speechless)
Operator: Will there be anything else, sir?
Customer: Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke..
Operator: I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution prohibits this..
Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!
2004-12-30 06:59 | User Profile
About a week ago, the news reported that a woman was suing WalMart for 25 million dollars. Her daughter bought a shotgun at Walmart and used it to commit suicide. The daughter also had a prescription for antidepressent drugs that was filled at another WalMart. The mother claims Walmart should have referenced the pharmacy records and discovered that the daughter is mentally unfit to buy a gun.
Never mind that privacy laws prevent WalMart from doing what the woman says they should have done. Maybe as Americans get use to a Big Brother that knows everything, they'll want to trade their privacy for security against themselves.
I wonder should WalMart had been prevented from selling the daugher knives, OTC drugs, or anything else that she could have used to kill herself? How about the gas station that might have supplied fuel for the old park the car in the garage with the engine running. How about banning the daugher from elevators and stairs so she couldn't get to high places to jump?
2004-12-30 13:31 | User Profile
Good post, BK, and unfortunately somewhat prophetic. There is no doubt that the US -- and, indeed, much of the industrialized world -- is headed in that direction. It's only a matter of time -- maybe as few as ten years -- before each of us is living in a fish bowl.
Good comments also from HH. People who think that guns are the only available method of committing suicide should examine the case of Japan, where suicide rates are high and guns are hardly ever available to citizens.
Throat-slashing, hanging, asphyxiation, jumping off buildings, pills and alcohol, electrocution, drowning, deliberate car accidents, etc., etc. There are so many ways to off oneself, it isn't even funny. If a person really wants to kill himself (and not just make a cry for help), then he can do it, and there's no way to stop him short of putting him away in an asylum.
2004-12-30 19:01 | User Profile
If I'm going to go, I ain't putting a shotgun up to my face that's for sure - pills seem to make so much more sense.
As for buying stuff, I am really turned off at any store that asks me for my zip code at the register. F-CK YOU!, I think. What's in it for me? I think that's a very rude invasion of privacy.
2004-12-31 04:08 | User Profile
it is our Patriotic responsibilty to load up on as many biological weapons as possible, and while we are still free enough and have a black market to load up on uzzis and work with law enforcement connections to obtain all this weaponry. We have to stockpile and amass as much as we can as Patriotic citizens now, because the time is shortly coming when we will not be able to defend ourselves against absolute evil.
2004-12-31 05:08 | User Profile
[QUOTE=jay]If I'm going to go, I ain't putting a shotgun up to my face that's for sure - pills seem to make so much more sense.
As for buying stuff, I am really turned off at any store that asks me for my zip code at the register. F-CK YOU!, I think. What's in it for me? I think that's a very rude invasion of privacy.[/QUOTE]
My stock answer to this question is "90210". WalMart supposedly uses this question to verify your billing address on credit cards, although they often ask it on cash purchases.
Much worse than this question is the use of "loyalty cards" at pharmacies and groceries. These can be used to profile users based on purchasing habits, and will soon be linked throughout the retail industry as the technology advances.
2004-12-31 05:24 | User Profile
Most stores that ask for zip use the info to determine where that store's customers are coming from so they can project new store locations close to where those customers already reside.
Others, well.......
2004-12-31 11:25 | User Profile
[QUOTE=jay]As for buying stuff, I am really turned off at any store that asks me for my zip code at the register. F-CK YOU!, I think. What's in it for me? I think that's a very rude invasion of privacy.[/QUOTE]
My policy on this is to provide false info (I'm reminded here of "Kramer" from "Seinfeld" asking, "Why does Radio Shack ask you for your phone number when you buy a packet of AA batteries?"). I don't see any moral consideration here, as I don't regard providing false info to an indifferent representative of a multinational corporate entity to be the same as a "lie." Who am I deceiving? A non-biological, strictly legalistic entity, and one that is almost assuredly committed to the advancement of evil? I'm sure God will make allowances....
2004-12-31 11:30 | User Profile
[QUOTE=weisbrot]Much worse than this question is the use of "loyalty cards" at pharmaciesand groceries. These can be used to profile users based on purchasing habits, and will soon be linked throughout the retail industry as the technology advances.[/QUOTE]
I don't mind being profiled, so long as I save 25% on my grocery bill (and its frequently been more, using my Safeway card, which I've been using for about a decade now). If they'll give me something substantial (major economic savings), then I'll give them something substantive (personal info). Its a fair trade. Besides, I don't see why its a secret from Safeway if I buy a 12-pack of Steinlager or LaBatts from Safeway....(while there is now plenty of good American beer, as a protest against our war in Iraq, I generally only purchase beer from Canada, New Zealand, Ireland and Germany, but not from nonWhite Mexico, Japan, etc., of course, despite Sapporo and Modelo Dark being good brews, nor from pro-war Britain and Australia, despite my having a a particular affinity for British ales).
2005-01-01 03:49 | User Profile
[QUOTE=Kevin_O'Keeffe]I don't mind being profiled, so long as I save 25% on my grocery bill (and its frequently been more, using my Safeway card, which I've been using for about a decade now). If they'll give me something substantial (major economic savings), then I'll give them something substantive (personal info). Its a fair trade. Besides, I don't see why its a secret from Safeway if I buy a 12-pack of Steinlager or LaBatts from Safeway....(while there is now plenty of good American beer, as a protest against our war in Iraq, I generally only purchase beer from Canada, New Zealand, Ireland and Germany, but not from nonWhite Mexico, Japan, etc., of course, despite Sapporo and Modelo Dark being good brews, nor from pro-war Britain and Australia, despite my having a a particular affinity for British ales).[/QUOTE]
***Dear Mr. O'Keeffe:
As you are a valued customer we are happy to alert you to the advantages offered by our marketing partnership with Safeway and other retailers. This fantastic new effort includes information sharing between those major retailers and our own Customer Relationship Management Division to ensure that you continue to receive the customized service our surveys overwhelmingly indicate you so desire.
As a result, this information exchange will now allow us, as your Health Insurance Provider, to offer you enhanced Health services tailored to your needs. As a Class C Active or Incipient Alcoholic (see Customer Guide B, page 36 for definitions of all Health Classifications) as indicated by your Safeway purchases over the past decade, we can now offer you our upgraded "Substance Dependent" coverage at a substantial discount from the normal rates. While your coverage premiums will increase by an initial amount (estimated to be no more than %250 over your current premium) and will continue to climb at the actuarially adusted rate of %47 per annum, you will be able to maintain your coverage in our group rates. These rates will of course be dependent on your participation in our new Multicultural Physician Outreach program, and can be increased or cancelled outright at any time.
Please contact your group health coordinator to confirm your assignment to Dr. Krishnamuripathian, and to arrange for the required deposit of $1,500 to participate in the Class C Active or Incipient Alcoholic Health Coverage Program. Additionally, please consider this communication as notice of your cancellation in our Class A Normal Health Coverage, and that your continuation as a customer in good standing is dependent on our timely receipt of your Class C/MPO Program deposit as indicated above.
Thank you for your loyalty as a customer over the preceding years.
Best regards,
Myron Horowitz Customer Care Manager Blue and White Menorah Health Care Corp.***
2005-01-01 04:06 | User Profile
Not long ago I asked a relative in a small town about his use of "customer loyalty" cards at the local chain grocery. He chuckled and told me that he had defeated the system; the grocer just told him to fill out the personal info sheet and return it later after handing him the bar-coded tag. He assured me that all purchases were credited to "address unknown".
So I asked him if he ever made purchases with a credit card.
"Oh."
2005-01-01 04:17 | User Profile
[QUOTE=jay]If I'm going to go, I ain't putting a shotgun up to my face that's for sure - pills seem to make so much more sense.
You'd probably just barf it all up and then for the next couple of days you'd feel worse than death. Then you'd get more depressed that you suck so much that you can't even kill yourself.
I think I'd drink enough alcohol to kill a horse, while running a hose from the tail pipe of the car into the passenger compartment. I'd just want to be doubly sure.
As for buying stuff, I am really turned off at any store that asks me for my zip code at the register. F-CK YOU!, I think. What's in it for me? I think that's a very rude invasion of privacy.[/QUOTE]
I haven't had a store ask me for my zip code for a very long time. But, it has never offended me and I just thought it was related to some desire to figure out where they should open the next store or where they should spend their advertising dollars.
2005-01-01 05:57 | User Profile
I had some stores ask me for my phone number; one of them was at a candle store, of all places. I was courteous, and gave them a phone number; not exactly mine, so to speak. One number off :wink:. It worked like a charm. Let someone else get mail supplements from the store.
2005-01-01 15:58 | User Profile
Robbie's a lot closer to the mark. For years, retail outlets asking for your personal info are simply compiling customer lists for mail-order purposes (and of course to sell those lists to other junk-mailers).
Of course, the long term trend is more sinister: within 10 years, you will not be allowed to make even the most minor cash transaction without providing valid picture id. Which every illegal alien will be provided free of charge, no questions asked, by the government. (These next few years will be profitable ones to master simple make-up procedures and phonetically learn convincing pidgin-English, by the way. I know I could [I]definitely [/I] find uses for a few pieces of fedgov-issued fake id...couldn't you?)
I did get [I]one [/I] big laugh of this article. No mention whatsoever of why 99% of all food-delivery joints [U]currently[/U] warehouse phone numbers and addresses: to not get their drivers robbed and killed delivering a calzone or pork fried-rice container to ni**ertown! Many will now refuse to go into project buildngs and tell Jamaal over the phone to meet the driver outside the buiding; some, wisely, even refuse to go that far:
[B]Ordering Chinese Food in 2005[/B]
Operator: Herro, Hunan Pagoda.
Customer: Ey yo, dis a orda fo delibbery. Lemme git some Gennal Chow chicken wit extra hossauce, an shwimp fry rice wit hossauce on the side, an yo yo, th'ow sum spareribs in dere too. Ey yo, make sho you put a lotta hossauce on dem ribs, nome sane?
Operator: What you address?
Customer: 243 Martin Luther King Av-
Operator: [I]Pickup only[/I]. Driver sick.
2005-01-01 18:12 | User Profile
[QUOTE=il ragno]Of course, the long term trend is more sinister: within 10 years, you will not be allowed to make even the most minor cash transaction without providing valid picture id. [/QUOTE]
The Patriot Act requires requires banks to have valid picture IDs and to verify and record identifying information for every person opening an account.
In Iraq and Afghanistan, the US is experimenting with building DNA databases of everyone they encounter, along with IDs linked to this database. So, for example, if you said you were Smith the first time, that's your name from now on. If you give a different name later, they'll know because your DNA is already in the database and you'll be arrested.
2005-01-01 18:51 | User Profile
The Zionuts have used the excuse of "security" to institute measures in Iraq that are right out of Orwell's "1984".
You can bet that when President Hillary gets elected in 2008, she, her cabinet & supreme court nominees, namely, the Shumers, Boxers, Feinsteins, Foxmans & Dees' of the world, will appreciate the handywork of the "conservative" Bush administration for pushing through the Patriot Act, setting the foundations for the Soviet Federal Districts of New America.
"Welcome to the gulags comrad, and remember, Arbeit Macht Frei."
U.S. program in Iraq: [url]http://www.originaldissent.com/forums/showthread.php?t=15945[/url]