← Autodidact Archive · Original Dissent · Scout
Thread ID: 15971 | Posts: 9 | Started: 2004-12-14
2004-12-14 20:06 | User Profile
What are the biblical grounds for divorce? Is it solely the committing of adultery or does it also include abandonment (emotional and physical) and abuse (psychological, verbal and physical)?
2004-12-14 20:29 | User Profile
[QUOTE=Scout]What are the biblical grounds for divorce? Is it solely the committing of adultery or does it also include abandonment (emotional and physical) and abuse (psychological, verbal and physical)?[/QUOTE]
Hello Scout,
I believe adultery and desertion are the biblically justified grounds for divorce. But having said that, even with the above I still would encourage spouses considering a divorce to seek God's will for their relationship and trust Him to work it out. "All things are possible...." When the two become one flesh I believe it is for all eternity, so divorce should never be taken the least bit lightly or casual.
2004-12-14 21:18 | User Profile
[QUOTE=Texas Dissident]Hello Scout,
I believe adultery and desertion are the biblically justified grounds for divorce. But having said that, even with the above I still would encourage spouses considering a divorce to seek God's will for their relationship and trust Him to work it out. "All things are possible...." When the two become one flesh I believe it is for all eternity, so divorce should never be taken the least bit lightly or casual.[/QUOTE]
Jesus made an exception for adultery (although there's a good deal of debate about what that means), but I'm not aware of any biblical grounds justifying divorce for abandonment, please elucidate.
Also, Jesus made it clear that marriage is for life only, and that in the next world we will not be given or taken in marriage. And thank God for that!!!!
Walter
2004-12-15 06:46 | User Profile
I'd say abandonment is a very weak reason for divorce. It is the duty of a Christian to set a good example and to be faithful, even when that is not reciprocated.
Try 1 Corinthians 7.
2004-12-15 06:50 | User Profile
[QUOTE=Walter Yannis]Jesus made an exception for adultery (although there's a good deal of debate about what that means), but I'm not aware of any biblical grounds justifying divorce for abandonment, please elucidate.
1 Corinthians 7:15, Brother Walter.
2004-12-15 06:58 | User Profile
[QUOTE=Texas Dissident]1 Corinthians 7:15, Brother Walter.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE]1 Corinthians 7:15 (King James Version)15But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.[/QUOTE]
This would appear to be limited to mixed marriages - i.e. where one spouse is a Christian and the other a non-believer - and then the non-believer spouse abandons the Christian spouse. This is made clear, it seems to me, by the previous passages to the effect that there must be no divorce in Christian marriage.
[QUOTE]10And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:
11But and [B]if she depart, let her remain unmarried [/B] or be reconciled to her husband: and [B]let not the husband put away his wife[/B].
12But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
13And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
14For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
15But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.
16For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?[/QUOTE]
2004-12-15 22:32 | User Profile
[QUOTE=Walter Yannis]This would appear to be limited to mixed marriages - i.e. where one spouse is a Christian and the other a non-believer - and then the non-believer spouse abandons the Christian spouse. This is made clear, it seems to me, by the previous passages to the effect that there must be no divorce in Christian marriage.[/QUOTE]This is a situation where the two were married and were not Christians. The wife became a Christian some years after the marriage. They have a child together. The wife was the bread winner and quit her job to stay home to raise the child against her husband's wishes. He was somewhat controlling before she became a Christian and it got a little worse once she became a Christian. Then when she quit her job he became extremely verbally abusive and it is now affecting the child because he is verbally abusive to both of them. It is getting progressively worse.
My advice to her was to leave (not get a divorce, just separate) because it was affecting her (she has a disease which flares up when she is under stress) AND NOW the child (7 or 8 years old). The child has even told his mom that she needs to leave his dad because of the way he treats her. She feels she has grounds for divorce due to the emotional abandonment and verbal abuse, but is hoping the marriage will eventually get better. To her knowledge he has not committed adultery.
Since I'm unclear about the true biblical grounds for divorce (I tend toward only adultery) I said just leave and then see what the husband does. Either he will come around and be nice and see the error of his ways or he will commit adultery OR he will initiate the divorce. I just feel like she needs to be out of the situation. They do have "good" days when he is not on a rampage, but more often than not, he is on a rampage. I am afraid it will escalate to physical abuse and he might accidentally kill her. She does have a place to go.
Thanks, Texas, for your opinion. Divorce has ALWAYS been such a difficult subject for me. Thankfully I have a wonderful Christian husband and will never have to worry about divorce, but there are so many around me who are not so blessed. :)
Am I right in thinking that if someone was divorced in a Christian marriage and they truly are repentant of that divorce because they were not a very strong Christian and now SEE the light that they are free to remarry? Or not?
2004-12-16 18:25 | User Profile
[QUOTE=Scout]My advice to her was to leave (not get a divorce, just separate) because it was affecting her (she has a disease which flares up when she is under stress) AND NOW the child (7 or 8 years old). The child has even told his mom that she needs to leave his dad because of the way he treats her. She feels she has grounds for divorce due to the emotional abandonment and verbal abuse, but is hoping the marriage will eventually get better. To her knowledge he has not committed adultery.
Hey Scout,
I hate to read about those kinds of situations. It's very unfortunate, but the good news is that God can heal all wounds and correct any problem. I think your advice is sound. The first concern has to be getting the lady and child safe from any physical danger or violence. So I am in agreement with you, in that she should leave and seek some support from her local church, stay in the marriage and start doing some heavy duty praying.
St. Paul speaks to this exact situation directly in 1 Corinthians 7:13-16:
If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. Wife, how do you know whether you will save your husband? Husband, how do you know whether you will save your wife?
Am I right in thinking that if someone was divorced in a Christian marriage and they truly are repentant of that divorce because they were not a very strong Christian and now SEE the light that they are free to remarry? Or not?[/QUOTE]
1 John 1:8-9:
If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
First, all of us have sinned (Rom.3:23), are sinners and will continue to sin. But as St. John writes above there is forgiveness, a Scriptural promise. Second, I wonder if there is any possiblity of reconciliation with the divorced, Christian couple? This would be my first recommendation.
2004-12-16 20:03 | User Profile
[QUOTE=Texas Dissident]
1 John 1:8-9:
If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
First, all of us have sinned (Rom.3:23), are sinners and will continue to sin. But as St. John writes above there is forgiveness, a Scriptural promise. Second, I wonder if there is any possiblity of reconciliation with the divorced, Christian couple? This would be my first recommendation.[/QUOTE] I agree. My recommendation would also be to try to reconcile in that situation, but what if both parties have already remarried? I worry that they are committing adultery since the reason for divorce was irreconcilable differences. Some would say that if they have truly repented of the divorce then they are forgiven and are no longer considered to be in an adulterous relationship. I have never been able to be completely comfortable with that explanation, but it does seem plausible. :confused: :unsure: