← Autodidact Archive · Original Dissent · Robbie
Thread ID: 14367 | Posts: 2 | Started: 2004-06-29
2004-06-29 20:01 | User Profile
[url]http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=39183[/url]
The Bible for Idiots
é 2004 WorldNetDaily.com
I don't know why they just don't call it "The Bible for Idiots."
That would be a better name for the new translation approved by Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams.
Instead, it's called "Good as New." Sounds like something that should be sold only in a used bookstore. Williams' hucksterism for this new translation seems determined to give used-car salesmen a bad name.
What's wrong with it?
Let's see. Where do I start?
Not only is the translation dumbed down to the level of a 21st century third-grade student suffering in the clutches of the government school monopoly, not only is it bad literature, not only is it unfaithful in every way to the original texts, it also flatly contradicts traditional scriptural tenets on sex and personal morality.
When I saw the first report on the "Good as New" Bible, I felt certain it was a parody, a hoax, a late April Fool's Day joke.
But this is apparently a serious attempt to undermine traditional beliefs. It's a serious attempt to rewrite the Bible according to the misguided, wishful thinking of the world of political correctness.
Judge for yourself.
This translation turns all "demon possession" into "mental illness."
It renames the "Son of Man," or Jesus, "the Complete Person."
Parables are rendered "riddles."
To baptize is to "dip" in water.
"Salvation" becomes "healing" or "completeness."
"Heaven" is "the world beyond time and space."
But it gets worse when you see this nonsense in context.
Take, for example, Mark 1:4. The King James Version reads: "John did baptize in the wilderness, and preach the baptism of repentance for the remission of sins."
The "Good as New" version?
"John, nicknamed 'The Dipper,' was 'The Voice.' He was in the desert, inviting people to be dipped, to show they were determined to change their ways and wanted to be forgiven."
The KJV translation of Mark 1:10-11 reads: "And straightway coming up out of the water, he saw the heavens opened, and the Spirit like a dove descending upon him. And there came a voice from the heaven saying, Thou art my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased."
The "Good as New" version?
"As he was climbing up the bank again, the sun shone through a gap in the clouds. At the same time a pigeon flew down and perched on him. Jesus took this as a sign that God's spirit was with him. A voice from overhead was heard saying, 'That's my boy! You're doing fine!'"
The KJV translation of Matthew 23:25 reads: "Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!"
The "Good as New" version?
"Take a running jump, Holy Joes, humbugs!"
The KJV translation of Matthew 26:69-70 reads: "Now Peter sat without in the palace: and a damsel came unto him, saying, 'Thou also wast with Jesus of Galilee.' But he denied before them all, saying, I know not what thou sayest."
The "Good as New" version?
"Meanwhile Rocky was still sitting in the courtyard. A woman came up to him and said: 'Haven't I seen you with Jesus, the hero from Galilee?" Rocky shook his head and said: 'I don't know what the hell you're talking about!'"
The KJV translation of 1 Corinthians 7:1-2 reads: "Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: [It is] good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, [to avoid] fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."
The "Good as New" version?
"Some of you think the best way to cope with sex is for men and women to keep right away from each other. That is more likely to lead to sexual offences. My advice is for everyone to have a regular partner."
The KJV translation of 1 Corinthians 7:8-7 reads: "I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I. But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn."
The Good as New" version?
"If you know you have strong needs, get yourself a partner. Better than being frustrated."
I know it seems like a joke, yet Williams, the head of the Church of England, says this new translation has "extraordinary power." He says he hopes it will spread "in epidemic profusion through religious and irreligious alike."
If it does, which I doubt, it will be for one reason: This Bible translation is designed to make sinners feel better about themselves and what they do. It is designed to take the focus off of God's eternal and inerrant Word and raise the self-esteem of people who don't want to know better. It is designed to blur the distinctions between right and wrong in a world that rejects the notion of absolutes.
Which raises the question, I wonder how the "Good as New" version might translate Matthew 5:18: "For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled."
2004-06-29 21:48 | User Profile
He forgot to mention "The Monkeys" who are the ones that made up this, so called, Bible in order to disgrace the Catholic church and the Bible,,,,,,,,, by the way, the Monkeys are the Jews.
"When the truth comes into the light, the lies will hide in the dark",,, Ponce