← Autodidact Archive · Original Dissent · Angler
Thread ID: 12781 | Posts: 7 | Started: 2004-03-18
2004-03-18 07:59 | User Profile
You might be a Freeping idiot if...
You believe George W. Bush and his administration are "conservative" and that anyone who opposes them is a "liberal."
Likewise, you consider Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, David Horowitz, Charles Krauthammer, and their ilk to be "conservative" just because they bash Democrats and "liberals."
You automatically assume that anyone who opposes any US military action is a "liberal."
You think France and Germany are "treacherous" and "cowardly" because they hesitated to join the US war on Iraq on the grounds that the evidence for Saddam's banned weapons was scanty.
You believe George W. Bush was right on the money when he said that the 9/11 attackers "hate us for our freedom."
You believe Saddam Hussein and Iraq had anything whatsoever to do with the 9/11 attacks.
You STILL don't believe George W. Bush and his administration lied in order to sucker the American public into supporting an invasion of Iraq.
You think professional wrestling is real.
You believe it's a coincidence that all of the key figures behind the Bush administration's push to war on Iraq are either pro-Israel Jews or pro-Israel "Christian Zionists."
You agree that "Israel's fight is America's fight."
You are certain that the Israelis, with their high-tech fighter planes, attack helicopters, and well-funded military, are much braver than the Palestinians, who must resist Israeli occupation with rusty old rifles, homemade explosives, and whatever else they can scrounge up.
You tell yourself that Israel's attack on the USS Liberty was an accident.
You've never heard of the Lavon Affair.
You've never heard about the five Israelis who were arrested after being seen laughing and celebrating as they filmed the WTC attacks.
You think the US federal government gives a rodent's rectum about the Constitution.
You think the Constitution "guarantees" your rights. [Only force can do that.]
You worship the military and law enforcement.
You tell yourself that the government will get your military rifle when it pries it from your "cold, dead fingers," even though you've never had the courage to disobey any gun laws in the past.
You think the Iraqi militants who fought against the most powerful military in the world are "cowards," while the Americans who dropped bombs from jets or launched cruise missiles from US Navy ships into Baghdad from were exceptionally brave.
You think the US military is fighting for Americans' freedom in Iraq.
You worship the US flag.
You get teary-eyed when "God Bless America" is sung at baseball games.
You're convinced that "God is on America's side."
You believe everything you see on the television, especially if it's on Fox News.
You think Free Republic is actually FREE and not one of the most highly-censored bulletin boards on the Internet.
2004-03-18 09:21 | User Profile
:lol:
You might be a freeping idiot if ... you wish someone would bottle G. Dubya's farts.
2004-03-18 09:24 | User Profile
You may be a freeping idiot if ...
you think that coming out against illegal immigration is some kind of bold stand.
2004-03-18 19:43 | User Profile
....if you believe the United States was created to be a nation of immigrants. ....if you believe Emma Lazarus' beautitude written on the Statue of Liberty.
I was lurking on FR and all I can say is that they are some of the most repugnant, brainwashed, never-seen-a-battlefield-warriors I've ever seen. They even make Faux News look even-handed. What a sick bunch of f*cking idiots.
2004-03-18 20:01 | User Profile
hey, this is fun...
You might be a freeper if ...
You think Ann Coulter is a goddess and an intellectual giant.
You think Ronald Reagan was the greatest president -- no, greatest man -- ever to walk the face of the Earth (Dubya is the second greatest).
You think serving in the military is the most noble thing a person can do -- unless the person is a Democrat, or a Republican against any of the GOP's current policies -- then you'll denounce him as a traitorous commie bastard, no matter how many decorations he has or how badly he was wounded.
You think The Passion Of The Christ is the greatest work of art ever produced -- that is, it was the greatest work of art ever produced, until you read that Mel Gibson has some doubts about Dubya.
You hate Hollywood, until some actor says something you agree with (such as supporting the war in Iraq), then he magically becomes the greatest actor that ever lived (however, if an actor ever says something you disagree with, he's a talentless hack)
You think cruelty to animals is hilarious, since it annoys them commies at PETA and the ASPCA.
You think the most important thing about a person isn't his race, but his political affiliation. Republican = good, DemocRat = evil.
You have loads of Mexican friends, and they're all good, decent, law-abiding folks who just want to come to the US to work hard and find a better life.
You still blame Clinton for every thing that goes wrong in Dubya's presidency, and will continue to do so forever and ever.
You think OD and VDARE are hate sites.
You think the fact that Dubya can babble a few words en español somehow proves that he's not an idiot.
2004-03-18 23:04 | User Profile
Excellent additions, folks. All 100% true.
Hopefully that herd of intellectual eunuchs at FR will end up seeing this tribute to their tragicomical lack of perspective.
2004-03-19 15:24 | User Profile
You might be a freeper if...
You think Barbra Streisand, Susan Sarandon and Jeanne Garofalo are the three cultural threats to American society.
You think replacing the word "French" with "freedom" is the ultimate act of unquestionable patriotism.
You always insert "Judeo" to the word Christianity.
You believe that the presence of Third Worlders in your neighborhood is enriching America's communities.
You believe that Bill Clinton is the Lucifer reincarnate.
You think that home-schooling is a haven of derelict parents and malnourished children.