← Autodidact Archive · Original Dissent · Marlowe
Thread ID: 12310 | Posts: 16 | Started: 2004-02-13
2004-02-13 17:35 | User Profile
I deserve it for watching tv.
There is a commercial that is so disturbing...it literally drives me to the edge of insanity when I see it.
The viewer is...serenaded...in a screeching falsetto by these...toothy...meaty...puppets. Or something. One of them plays a guitar.
I've only seen it once in its entirety, but it left a mark. I think my reaction was [B]"Ahhh! AHHHH! What the **** is that! Turn it off!"[/B] Something like that. Your poor, pitiful droog.
So what do I want from you? Why post this? I don't know. To warn you. To vent. To hear a few encouraging words.
I know it's only a commercial...but it's remarkable how I can be made to feel like a lunatic by simply viewing a commercial for a sandwich shop. That's pretty powerful technology - like the lethal joke in the Monty Python skit.
Thank you for caring.
2004-02-13 20:45 | User Profile
Quizznos [the ancient god of game-shows] runs the most heaveworthy ads as a matter of course. It's their trademark. A recent ad of theirs answered the rhetorical question "What were you raised by - wolves?" with a scene of an unappealing, nearly-naked nerd amid a litter of wolf cubs, [I]suckling at a she-wolf's teat[/I].
And they're selling hot food! The mind reels, and cues the gag-reflex.
2004-02-13 21:28 | User Profile
Having experienced both commercials, I have to wonder when they're going to cut to the chase and simply show 25 seconds of your average slaughterhouse in operation with a 5-second cut at the end of one of their hot, dripping meat sandwiches.
That "kill your TV" thing is sounding better all the time.
I recognize the irony inherent in quoting another TV show to lambaste the medium itself, but I'm reminded of a Simpsons episode in which the cable is knocked out and the horrified residents are urged, "Do not panic. Service will be restored shortly. Avoid the urge to read a book or engage in conversation. Do not attempt sexual relations with loved ones, as years of TV radiation have left your genitals withered, and useless."
2004-02-13 21:57 | User Profile
I don't have cable anymore, and not missing it. Sadly, this is a result of not having time to watch the idiot box and a gradual detoxication as a result, and not just a concious sudden stop.
Before I turned off the thing, I grew more and more annoyed at the silliness in the box. So it was easy to finally just cancel the televitz subsidation.
Everyone should just get broadband internet instead, as a replacement for the radiation. Monitor tan, instead of a wondering zombified look, will be a side benefit as well.
2004-02-17 18:42 | User Profile
When I saw that commercial, I was flipping through the channels and I thought I was watching a MadTv parody.
2004-03-02 03:49 | User Profile
Does this man need an advisor? Or do they think whites will think it's cool because of the specimen depicted?
[img]http://http300.content.ru4.com/images/0506/14431.gif[/img]
2004-03-02 03:53 | User Profile
Virtually EVERY advertisement, online or not, is like the one you posted. This is no different from the no-brainer that every judge on television is a female, especially a black one.
2004-03-02 04:11 | User Profile
Ex-convicts need advisors too. American Express is just being inclusive by reaching out to that market.
2004-03-02 04:27 | User Profile
[QUOTE=Edana]Ex-convicts...[/QUOTE]
Is that that orange jumpsuit? :lol:
2004-03-02 12:34 | User Profile
[url]http://www.gamespy.com/comics/dorktower/archive.asp?nextform=viewcomic&id=849[/url] or [url]http://www.gamespy.com/comics/dorktower/images/comics/dorktower324.jpg[/url]
[img]http://www.gamespy.com/comics/dorktower/images/comics/dorktower324.jpg[/img]
2004-03-02 19:52 | User Profile
What happened to my monkey-man American Express ad? Here's another. I just feel like running and getting my American Express card, now that a negro depiction has made it cool:
[img]http://www.gopher.digisle.tv/images/hdr_tigerwoods.jpg[/img]
2004-03-03 04:43 | User Profile
I've seen that Quizzno's commercial: deeply unsettling. I'm sick to death of corporate bastards hawking their wares by "pushing the envelope" with hideous and/or highly sexualized ads. In contrast to this kind of garbage, I saw one with a nice Englishman selling a bagless vacuum cleaner he'd developed (don't remember the name of it): he simply explained why it was different & better, and that was it. Nothing offensive or sickening at all.
Another lousy series of commercials are those for Wachovia Securities: it's not the visuals in this case, it's the extremely irritating theme music - a sparse, incredibly banal electric guitar dirge of the sort appropriate for Kurt Cobain's funeral. It may seem like a small thing, but it really sets my treeth on edge.
2004-03-03 16:51 | User Profile
[QUOTE=N.B. Forrest]It may seem like a small thing, but it really sets my treeth on edge.[/QUOTE]
It does seem like a small thing...unless you're both human and sensitive. The effect of these small things in the aggregate is like torture...like being submerged in filth, if you'll forgive that very IP imagery.
While we're here, what's UP with all the IP scatology? What is WRONG with those...people. I wonder what caused their group psychology to evolve in such a way that they seek to produce and view such images. Do they simply revel in jabbing a finger in the eye?
My own answer is: it doesn't matter. The fact of it can not be disputed. We must boycott our once trusted interpreters.
2004-03-04 02:35 | User Profile
Thank you god for inventing the MUTE button!!!
Our last ($4000!) 51" projection (or something - it was a boy-toy) TV did NOT have one! Can you imagine?! Then it died! (YAY!) The new one DOES have a mute button - and AVALANCHE gets to hold the remote!! NO commercials! NO NO NO commericals!!
Interestingly, I used to watch a lot of Home and Garden TV -- but they are putting on more and more miscegenated couples, and "gettin' all in-CLUE-sive" with jiggy announcers and dreadlocked hosts (schiest!) and "let's organize the house of this mammy and her fatherless children" so I'm off to Tech TV -- where, with the exception of one really annoying token, it's white city with a few Asians thrown in for interest. (Plus I'm getting good tech knowledge!)
Av
2004-03-04 02:37 | User Profile
Kill your freaking TV. Get Netflix. Or something. Or get your movies off internet.
2004-03-04 03:03 | User Profile
[QUOTE=Avalanche]Interestingly, I used to watch a lot of Home and Garden TV -- but they are putting on more and more miscegenated couples, and "gettin' all in-CLUE-sive" with jiggy announcers and dreadlocked hosts (schiest!) and "let's organize the house of this mammy and her fatherless children" so I'm off to Tech TV -- where, with the exception of one really annoying token, it's white city with a few Asians thrown in for interest. (Plus I'm getting good tech knowledge!)[/QUOTE]
Man, don't get me started on HGTV. I miss the happy days when they were a little known cable channel advertising on Paul Harvey, begging people to "call their local cable operator." It seems like they now have only two kinds of shows:
Show Template the 1st: "Tonight, HGTV takes you to an 'extreme home' that's actually built inside the hull of a decommissioned Russian nuclear submarine. The kitchen actually incorporates the reactor!"
Show Template the 2nd: "Tonight, watch as our celebrity decorator takes a modest but tasteful suburban home and turns it into a French whorehouse, complete with red wallpapered walls, gold trim, and many, many mirrors. Also, minimally-competent electrician 'Chico' will ogle the pretty-but-annoying host while she giggles maniacally."
What kinds of "ideas" am I to garner from this--what not to do?
:nerd: