← Autodidact Archive · Original Dissent · madrussian
Thread ID: 12223 | Posts: 7 | Started: 2004-02-09
2004-02-09 01:05 | User Profile
*Looks like a sincere India survival guide from hindumonkeys. There are other sections, but this one must be the most important :lol: *
[url]http://www.indax.com/toilets.html[/url]
Quite a few foreign visitors have a dread of Indian toilets. The squat-type toilets that are common in cheaper hotels are actually much more hygienic and healthier for the system than sit-down toilets. They just take a little getting used too. The most important thing is not to fall in. This seems self evident, but when the floor is slippery it is easy to do. You can get a nasty cut to your foot if you slip and the porcelain breaks along the rim.
The first thing to do, before you use the toilet, is to pour a bit of water down it. This helps prevent anything from sticking and makes flushing easier. Stand on the two footpads at the edge of the keyhole shaped bowl with the large opening at the back of you. Hold on to something and squat over the bowl. You'll find this squat position aids in the defecation process. Once done, pour a bucket of water down the bowl to flush. Historically, all humans defecated this way, and still the bulk of the world's people prefers this method. Once they get used to it, many Westerners prefer it.
A tissueless existence Once you have mastered the squat toilet, you may want to try to give up that wasteful, environmentally damaging practice of using toilet paper. This is where most Western visitors draw the line, and spend their trip lugging rolls of expensive toilet paper around with them. Perhaps their early potty training was too vigorous.
If you do feel adventurous, here are some basic tips. You'll need about a litre of water. All Indian bathrooms have a little mug and a tap or a bucket of water. When you have finished, reach behind you and between your legs with your LEFT hand and, holding the full mug of water in your RIGHT hand, pour the water slowly into your left hand. You can pour from the front or the back - which ever feels most comfortable. Use the water in your cupped left hand to wash yourself. Repeat as many times as necessary. Air dry. When you are done, wash your hands well with soap.
If you learn to like this process (It leaves you cleaner and is much less wasteful than using toilet paper) you can adopt the technique for sit down toilets too. Just lean forward and pour the water from behind you.
You can carry your tissuelessness even further by buying a few of the cheap handkerchiefs sold at the roadside. For Rs.5-10 you get good cotton hankies, useful for mopping sweat, drying hands, or for when you have a cold. Rinse them out at night and save yourself all the expense and waste of tissues.
2004-02-09 01:55 | User Profile
This is why so many jobs are being sent to India and other third world nations. Third worlders are such ingenious people. :disgust:
2004-02-09 03:04 | User Profile
[QUOTE=Roy Batty]This is why so many jobs are being sent to India and other third world nations. Third worlders are such ingenious people. :disgust:[/QUOTE]
*Use your right hand! *
[SIZE=3] [B]Art of Eating[/B][/SIZE]
There is no way around it. Indian food tastes best when eaten with your fingers. There is a tactile dimension added to the eating process. Besides, Indian foods are designed to be eaten by hand. Breads are to be torn and wrapped around foods. Rice is customarily blended with curries so each mouthful is unique. If you eat off a banana leaf (still possible in many places) trying to use a knife and fork would shred your " plate ". Eating with your fingers is a cultural experience everyone should experience while visiting India.
A problem for some
Surprisingly, many Westerners have a problem eating with their fingers. For some, it's a squeamishness in being that intimate with your food. For others, it's hygiene. (Actually, eating with your fingers allows you greater control over cleanliness factors. You can, and should, wash your hands well before eating. Get them as clean as you like. Then try and forget early table training, and recapture some of the early childhood joy of playing with your food.) Others have difficulty with technique, especially when rice is involved. You can't go back to the" fistful of food " method you perfected when you were two.
The Technique
The secret to gracefully eating with your fingers is this: " Use your thumb. " Food, say a small amount of rice, is collected in a small pile on your plate, blended with one or more bits of curry, and then picked up with a twist of the wrist and held on the four fingers of your hand. The thumb remains free. Keeping the food level, maneuver your fingers to your mouth until the tips of your fingers are almost, or just, touching your lower lip. Don't put your fingers into your mouth. Use your thumb to pop the food inside. It is a simple technique, and it works. A meal or two of practicing and you'll be eating like a native.
Good Manners
There are conventions of good manners when eating with the fingers, but they do change a bit from area to area. The most basic is that in the North of India it is polite to dirty only the first two segments of your fingers. Since Northerners eat a lot of breads and generally have drier curries, this doesn't pose much difficulty. In the South, where they eat lots more rice, and enjoy very soupy curries, you can get your whole hand into the action. Try not to get carried away, though. Having curry juices running down toward the elbow would be considered a bit low class.
Use your right hand
It is very important to eat with your right hand only. Your left hand is reserved for other functions (toilet related) and should not handle food, especially other people's food. Usually, your left hand rests on the table or your lap while you eat. Though it is acceptable to take a piece of bread, say, in your left hand and tear off pieces with your right, it is better to only use the right hand, pinning the bread with your little finger and tearing with your thumb and forefinger. You should use your clean left hand to serve yourself (using a utensil) or pass a plate of food. Don't plunge either hand into food in a communal serving dish.
The question of what a left-handed person should do is a bit complicated. If it is at all possible, try and eat with your right hand. If it is too awkward, use the left, but perhaps explain to your dinner companions that you are left handed and cannot eat with your right hand. (Perhaps someone out there can enlighten us further as to the best solution.)
Finally, there are places in India where eating with your hand is frowned upon - most notably the Indian food buffets at fancy restaurants. If it's a classy place, and cutlery is provided, you are probably expected to use it. Look around, and if no one else is digging in with their fingers, you may want to toe the line.
2004-02-09 03:11 | User Profile
I remember a military deployment to Japan once. The troops constantly fought over who got to use the limited number of western-style toilets instead of the common Jap squat holes in the floor.
2004-02-09 04:15 | User Profile
Very enlightening. Too bad Rban isn't here to further enrich us to this culture.
2004-02-09 21:05 | User Profile
And of course, the Way of Apu may look primitive to Smug Condescending Whitey - with his aggressive knives & forks and his Gaia-raping toilet paper - but in fact it's vastly superior in every way! We'd also be washin' the vindaloo poopies off our hand with brackish water as Nature intended if we weren't racist imperialists!
2004-02-09 22:00 | User Profile
I sympathize with this obvious plea for Rban to return to OD waters. It just hasnââ¬â¢t been the same without the superstar court jester. A few have tried to carry the torch, but, possessing neither his wit, his devotion, his doggedness, or his capacity for self delusion when talking of things dear to the heart, they found it too heavy a burden and moved on. Since laughter is a necessary ingredient for the psychological well being of people and forums, weââ¬â¢re all diminished. :cry: