← Autodidact Archive · Original Dissent · il ragno
Thread ID: 10725 | Posts: 9 | Started: 2003-10-25
2003-10-25 01:22 | User Profile
Here's a few pointers to make your CRIBS taping the best it can be!
You don't eat, sleep or have sex, you "Get your eat/sleep/thang on."
Whenever possible, end sentences with "at". Ex: "Dis where I make my babies at."
It's not a "room". It's an "area". Ex: "Dis here the pool area" or "Here go the kitchen area."
Cars & Trucks = Rides. Never call your ride a car.
"20's" aren't denominations of currency, they are the rims on your ride. They must be blinged out. (See #6)
Things are not shiny. They are "blinged out".
Your ride needs at least one Playstation and DVD player integrated into a seat back, visor, dashboard or all of the above.
They are [B]not [/B] your "friends". They are your "[I]dawgz[/I]".
On the day of taping, you must have a minimum of 8 to 10 dawgz kickin' it in your pool, studio and theater areas.
One does not "relax". One "cheelz".
When you are "kickin it", you are not playing soccer or angry at the dog, you are imbibing alcohol with your dawgz.
Consider trading a Lexy for a pit bull, Rottweiler, or other menacing dog.
Tattoos are a must. When choosing a tattoo, they must evoke memories of someone you haven't seen in a great while, like a dawg you lost.... or one of your children.
Remember, the only woman worthy of respect is your "Moms". All other women are "hoochies" and "hos".
Build a sunken platinum basketball jersey humidor area.
During taping, try not to shoot any white chauffeurs. If you happen to shoot a white chauffeur, try to make your visitors accessories after the fact.
The proper "Crib Touring Stance" is to hold your right fist in your left hand and place both over your sternum. Hold your lips inside your mouth to evoke a placid demeanor.
You may own any or all existing video game systems other than a Nintendo, which is for beeotches and kids. However, you may only own NFL or NBA themed video games. (No homie has [B]ever [/B] said "Dis where I get my flight simulation on.")
If possible, breed or buy a chrome Rottweiler.
Fish tanks may only house piranhas or sharks (a.k.a. "The Rottweiler and Doberman of the Sea")
Remove all books and/or computers from the residence prior to taping. (No homie has ever said "Dis where I get my read on.")
Self portraits aren't only for corporate executives and historical figures! Remember, the bigger the portrait, the more respect it commands.
Two words: Black Lacquer.
Keep the table in the formal dining area set at all times with gold, chrome and/or diamond flatware.
Make sure you have at least two large rooms/automobiles that "You ain't even go in/drove ever."
Bet on everything with your dawgz. Always win.
A pile of credit cards is practical...but not impressive. CASH ONLY!
When the MTV crew is leaving, be as rude as possible. Ex: "Now you done seen the crib, you best get to steppin."
Even though you have a lot of money, you are still "keeping it real" by letting the dawgz from your old 'hood, ie Pookie, Ray Ray, P-Nut, etc., hang around your house.
One of your little baby cousins must always make a guest appearance, and you must bill him as a future great football/basketball player or playa/rapper, i.e., "dat my little baby cousin, Dontonio, he trippin', he da next lil Bow Wow."
You and your homies must make a trip to the barber shop, show respect to the 90-year-old ex-con "tightenin' up" your afro or cornrows and make sure he mentions how he has known you since "you was dis big."
Most importantly, do not get too attached to any of this. You will not have it in five years.
2003-10-25 01:47 | User Profile
Say WHAAAT?? It ain't no "Moms"; it's "Mama's". [B]Mama's[/B]--Get it right, fool.
2003-10-25 02:27 | User Profile
Why do white people like acting like blacks? i just don't get it. I am a sophmore in college now and all the white men and women go around talking like blacks, dating them, playing rap and denouncing "white racism". All white kids here are totally indoctrinated into the university white guilt leftism its impossible to find some one with brains and will power.
2003-10-25 03:31 | User Profile
[QUOTE=paleo-nationalist]Why do white people like acting like blacks? i just don't get it. I am a sophmore in college now and all the white men and women go around talking like blacks, dating them, playing rap and denouncing "white racism". All white kids here are totally indoctrinated into the university white guilt leftism its impossible to find some one with brains and will power.[/QUOTE]
Why?? Take a look at who is running the show. Was it just a coincidence that after "politicial correctness" entered the dictionary, White people would be forced to take two paths--"think Black" or "think Guilt-Ridden White"?? It's no different than Bush's "either you're with us or against us" agitprop.
Trust me; when I was in college I think I was the only person there who had White nationalist thoughts.
2003-10-25 09:48 | User Profile
And remember: no artwork - 'cept yo huge sef-po'trait, of course. Only beyatches an' punk-ass white boys know about dat shit, know whum sayin'? Have lots of signed jerseys an' balls around instead.
2003-10-26 23:57 | User Profile
[QUOTE]Why do white people like acting like blacks? i just don't get it.[/QUOTE]
Paleo-N? Um, didn't you mean to write:
Why do they whities be acting like us homeboys?! It jes' blind me out!
2003-10-27 02:16 | User Profile
[QUOTE=paleo-nationalist]Why do white people like acting like blacks? i just don't get it. I am a sophmore in college now and all the white men and women go around talking like blacks, dating them, playing rap and denouncing "white racism". All white kids here are totally indoctrinated into the university white guilt leftism its impossible to find some one with brains and will power.[/QUOTE]
Where do you go to school? When I was in college a couple years ago all the white kids went around imitating blacks in a sarcastic, minstral show sort of way. The higher up the IQ spectrum you travel, the fewer whiggers you will encounter.
2003-10-27 02:45 | User Profile
It be real easy, dawg: White peepo act like Black peepo 'cause one certain peepo taught them to act like Blacks: Catholics! Er, no...I mean....uhhmmm...Protestants! No...I mean, uhhhmmm....them peepo who wear beenies on dere heads! Yeah! Zhids! Dat be who! Word!!
:king: :king:
2003-10-27 02:52 | User Profile
Go to the source....remember who owns Viacom, MTV, and BET